Defy the lies; discover your passion
You know which 20-year-old women I kinda’ envy? I’ll give you a hint. It’s NOT the ones who are cute and sexy, with perfect hair and tight abs. No; those abs might be tight for only another 10 years, and only if they work really hard at it. And for what? To impress a guy that likes them for their body and not their brains and talents and personality? No thanks.
No; I envy the 20-year-olds who have their heads together and are developing some mad artistic skills. They are discovering their passions and honing their gifts, because those are the things that will stick with them for the rest of their lives. They are the young people who know that media lies to them about how they should look and what is important and what they need in order to be happy.
I had a flat tummy in high school. You know how much good it did me? Zero. Zero good. I also had artistic talent, but back then I lacked the confidence and the drive to develop it beyond high-school level. There was a guy in one of my art classes who was REALLY good, and I looked at his work and thought, “There’s no way I can compete with that. I’ll just do art for fun occasionally, but I could never be THAT good.” You know what? I was wrong. I COULD be that good. I was just a coward about it. Besides, at the time I thought that boys were more important, so I was too busy trying to be cute.
HA. Girls, listen up: Most guys are not even worth looking at until college and beyond. Their brains are too addled by hormones. There are exceptions, but they are fewer than you think. (Okay, maybe some are worth LOOKING at, and talking to, but not wasting time on as boyfriends.) 😉
I was also too busy trying to be a “good girl” and get A’s in my classes. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I was missing the point of education. Many American schools seem to be about memorizing facts and being obedient and coloring within the lines. That, to me, is not education. It does not teach creativity and critical thinking. It seems that young people have to be self-starters and take hold of these things themselves, in spite of the school system. For example, in history class, don’t just memorize dates and events for the next test; get to the heart of WHY things happened and how they could happen again. Annoy your teachers, not because you’re a brat in class, but because you’re asking probing questions about the subject matter that make them think harder than they want to. Some of them will even love you for it.
I wish that, when I was younger, I had paid attention to what I was good at, and worked at making it great. That’s what I’m doing now, at 35. But I could be SO much farther along, so much better at my skills, had I not bought into stupid lies as a teen and 20-something — lies aimed at surface beauty and “cool” trends, which distract from things that matter, things that endure.
Discover what you’re good at. Follow your passion. Ask tough questions. Let nothing hold you back. Now, THAT is attractive, don’t you think?